Archive for the ‘Satire’ Category

The next General web cashcow

Wednesday, April 9th, 2008

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The metalist

Sunday, November 25th, 2007

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The metatales continue, it was the talk of the week again and the wise Nico has a nice post and conversation running that puts things in a better perspective.

If the metatale also kept you busy I really would recommend you to watch this 2 weeks old South Park episode “The List”
Sunshine!

My Little Space travel rant

Wednesday, August 22nd, 2007

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Today I was shocked to hear and read all the coverage on the landing of the endeavor. It seems to be big news when a shuttle doesn’t explode… people just don’t have faith in space travel anymore. And this is no surprise!
I mean, what’s wrong with our rocket-scientists and their friends? Are they spaced out? Shuttles get sabotaged, probes get lost and astronauts fly drunk

It’s frustrating. It feels like our space travel capability didn’t evolve from the time monkeys played astronaut. I grew up with space travel, as a kid I was obsessed by it. I believed that by the time I grew up Star Trek would be a reality.
After all these years I have to conclude that human space travel still is primitive. The only real connection between today and Star Trek is drunken astronauts such as Scotty. And he also experienced some bumpy rides lately.

Thinking about this makes me wonder how Richard Branson is doing. This king of commerce might be humanities’ only hope for smooth space travel. What could come from that?

Pic from Psychotronic Cult Trash flickr pool.

The clearchannel blognetwork

Thursday, April 26th, 2007

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Advertising on blogs? It is something adverpeople been wandering about for some time now, me too. We’ve all seen that blogs can make a difference but only a lucky few of us adverpeople have been able to implement it in their marketing strategy with success.
To successfully implement blogs in a strategy, the adverpeople have to work with the blogosphere, this is for most professionals to time-consuming and demanding (and sometimes very frustrating).

The demand for simplicity in the social sphere is high and that is why adver agencies hire community managers and entrepreneurs create new services for our sector.
Services like Adhese, Metatale and Buzzer may get critique from blog guru’s “it’s too superficial”, but for now and for most campaigns I think these services will be sufficient.

In the end what most adverpeople only need is visibility, the same kind you can get with billboards, TV-commercials and banners on msn.
Basically, adverpeople take their money, go to ClearChannel and think of something to fill the empty space they just bought.
They reason like this “the more people see it, the more people will buy it”, it’s the ClearChannel-mindset.

Bloggers are also people and having visibility on a blog is not that bad because not only random visitors will see it but so will the blogger himself, if he likes the concept and it’s relevant for his blog he will write about it.

If there would be something like a ClearChannel blognetwork more bloggers will get more advertisers (and more money) and they see more of the commercial messages, the chances that more campaigns will be blogged is bigger, jeuj!

So please ClearChannel, buy Adhese, Buzzer, Metatale and make it simple. You’ve bought Rock Werchter, I(L)Techno because advertisers got interested in events, these days they love blogs…

At least we would not have to worry about blogs and advertising anymore…
img via

Let’s all play Security Theater

Sunday, August 27th, 2006

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Bruce Schneir is a security guru, he tackles the problems of security from the small to the large: personal safety, crime, corporate security, national security… Bruce is known for critiquing the way Homeland Security is trying to keep the States safe from terrorist attacks. He claims that most of the multi billion dollar security market is just one big waste of money. He calls it the business of Security Theater.
The guru explains it simply by showing some examples of airport security measures. “because some guy had the idea to hide a bomb in his shoe we all need to take off our shoes before we want to enter a plane, we are lucky that guy didn’t put it in his underwear”

The thing is -he tells us- that Homeland Security agents are just like Hollywood writers. They create a movie plot threat, it’s a terrorist threat they (Homeland security) imagine form A-Z, “they can do this that way and than they do that to…” it’s a very simple way of trying to prevent terrorist attacks, but not a good one because if the bad guy changes one small detail the whole plan becomes worthless.
These movie plot threads are the reason airports have these annoying security protocols. These things don’t make things more safe, they only give us the illusion that we are safe. What if someone uses snakes to hijack a plane, or a sony battery?
A good tip not to get annoyed by these useless protocols is by playing along, imagine that you are in one of the movie plot treats, but keep in mind it’s fiction. Look at it like if it was a real life RPG.

Another way to prevent attacks is by data mining just like the NSA wire tapping. You would think that this is more efficient because it focuses on real conversations between real people planning stuff, it doesn’t. NYtimes reported that the NSA gets 1000 leads per month out of this Echelon thing, all those leads have proven to be false alarms. FBI agents cost about 200.000 dollar per year and most of their time is spend by hunting these phantoms, not very cost efficient.

So what is the answer for complete safety? According to Bruce Shneir it’s just making sure that others wouldn’t have a reason to attack. The message is simple, don’t get paranoid, make love and don’t make enemy’s…

Via Popsci podcast ep 14 (a damn good podcast series, try it!)
Picture by Nedrichards

Advertising is getting old

Monday, August 14th, 2006

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Digg pointed me out to one of bibi’s classic commercial collections from 1948, watching the commercials made me think that not allot has changed in the last 50/60 years.
After all those years advertisers are still promising white teeth, easier dishes, smoother shaving, whiter-brighter clothes and tasteful instant coffee.
It makes you think…
Apparently the only things that changed are the attention spam (some last up to 4 minutes) and that copyrighters replaced the songwriters :D .

Watch some more of Bibi’s collections here, here and here.
Also, to bad cigarette advertising has been banned, I wander if they would still promise clean healthy cigarettes.

A series on A Series Of Tubes

Thursday, July 27th, 2006

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As I explained some Time ago Ted Stevens (US senator) fired up a discussion about net neutrality. By now you should have heard about his speech he gave in congress to explain why he is against net neutrality. If not, here it is in text, mp3 or video. His quotes like “it’s not a truck, it’s a series of tubes”, “a internet was send to me”, and loads of other stupid things are to good to ignore.
People were shocked that a man like this could have so much influence on this topic, they reacted massively and so this “A series of tubes” became a internet legend just like “All your base is belong to us” and “The flying spaghetti monster“.

I guess we all saw this one coming but to give you a clue on this buzz I collected the ones I passed while browsing.
The first one I saw was this PowerPoint presentation to help Ted with his explanation.
That one got followed up with a MySpace fanclub with music remix, just a few moments later a techno remix and videoclip popped up.

Funny images were being distributed, like this tube maniac, this truck and truckloads more. Or even better, when FlickrTubes got clogged they announced a colourcontest where participants need to fill some tubes (1.124 by now).
People even started to make T-shirt designs to make fun with the guy: The first one to pop up was this shirt design followed by one based on the famous tube screensaver, one based on the tubes filled with porn, one collecting votes to get printed by threadless and many more.
Also, You’re the man now dog couldn’t leave behind: they’ve got Ted in a tube, a simulation of downloading a internet and many many more.

For John Steward (Daily show) this was also a big chance to make himself more popular by making fun of Ted Stevens with this video and that sketch, youtube is full of it.
Here are some podcasters (1, 2) who jumped on the hype and a mash-up compilation.
That this old senator can’t explain the things in a clear way is obvious, but sill, we need to cut him some slack. Even a genius like Einstein also didn’t know how to explain some things, take a look at this explanation on the telegraph, did you know that it is a very long cat?
I have the feeling that I could on like this for ever and that why I’ll quit the collection here, feel free to post others in the comments if you see a new or another “tube” joke.

World Cup side effects

Friday, June 23rd, 2006

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The World Cup is up and running and the football madness is everywhere. It’s a challenge to walk trough the day without hearing a thing about football.
The office is no exeption when it comes to football madness and all the “manly men” are talking about it as if there is nothing else going on in this world.

I wanted to prevent alpha male behaviour and just to be safe I declared one day a week of no-sports talk. It would be the day that we talk about normal stuff.
It is no surprise that this didn’t happen, Those flaming metrosexuals and their pointless football discussions are still the main topic and so my claim was dumped.

The worst thing is when it comes to football, the sexism-level rises.
If a woman says that “that team” is going to win all the males yell the opposite. To top things of they ask to explain offside, when the female can’t do this within 3 seconds or without hesitation they look at her as if they were a typical, stupid female.

But as it goes, boys like to measure
they keep scores…
Our current silverback has created a list and scoring system where other alpha candidates can enter the scores they expect for the next game. Their measuring tool is an ego thing, a thing that will deliver the winner an alpha male status for the next few months. And, it’s all automated!

Being the man who have nothing to fear and always in for a joke so girls were allowed to join, but that’s where it went wrong.

This morning we all received the in-between scores of the measuring and I was happy to see that the 3 girls in the game were on the 1ste, 2nd and 4th place.
Other funny details:

The guys who show the most alpha behavior are quite low in the list…

The first 2 girls are Dutch…

When I grow up…

Thursday, April 20th, 2006

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This clip features kids that already know what they want to do when they grow up…
Kids always tell the truth, sometimes the truth is shocking. If you are in one of these jobs you know that they are right.

It’s a spoof commercial inspired by an original Monster TV ad. Made by The Meyocks group (very cool website) in Des Moines, Iowa to be used as an opener for the ADDY Awards back in 2001 or 2002.

Thx Krisje